Obesity And Technology Clash

The rector of the Indus Institute of Technology made a startling discovery last month. After in depth research conducted by 27 universities, research institutes and a sociological centre the discovery seems to have been proven as true. Obese people find it much more difficult to use technology in their daily lives when compared to normal people. The Rector of the IIT said that he got suspicious when he saw two lists of students, one with GPAs and one with weights. Being a genius in numerical comparability he suddenly saw the relation between the two. “At first I could not believe it, but then I guess the truth dawned on me”.

In a much publicized group session of Obesity Anonymous one of the participants was quick to point out that “I would just rather prefer to have a Biryani then to learn how to run a minterm average function in MS Excel”. Of course the snide remark was met with mellow snickering from the rest of the participants. But all participants were not this civil. Ms Shafiq remarked that “If I wanted to wear large glasses and have big braces in my teeth I would become a computer nerd!”. Some of the participants thought this was a very harsh generalization and one participant took off his shoes in protest.

At the recent Nerds R Us convention one speaker declared that his company has stopped making extra large keyboards, “Now Obese people will have to make their fingers smaller so that they can hit one key at a time”. Mr Shafaqat started coughing loudly after this because of his allergy to laughter developed due to working in close proximity to computers. On the sidelines of the summit one participant told me in a hushed tone that he had to wear special clothing to not appear obese, otherwise he could have been bludgeoned to death by the other participants. He thought that he has started to develop an irrational phobia for Nerds.

When asked to give their opinion, most bankers were of the opinion that since obesity leads to higher branch sales it is a very good thing. 83% of the bankers polled did not know the meaning of obesity. One banker actually thought that it meant Extra Spicy Thai food.

Altamash Hai Khan, Karachi Times
Vol V

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