Ego Shattering Experiences

Work, life and more

(Yes, they are back)

And so we come to the beautiful spring of Karachi. The week long extravaganza when the weather is neither cold nor hot. Just slightly unbearable. As with all new beginnings, I decided to turn over another leaf of my life. I decided to find someone interesting and have the general coffee, food, walks on the beach, acrimony and sarcasm routine that other humans prefer to call dating. Being unable to garner even the shreds of a decent social life in the past twenty five years I decided that the best option for finding love would be to meet someone over the internet. With that, I went to my computer and started searching the world of people available. After some time, effort, searching skills and match making I ended up with a couple of individuals who eventually agreed to go out on one of these dates with me.

Contrary to popular belief, dates can go in any direction. There are good dates, mild dates, bad dates and then there are dates from hell. I am discounting great dates completely because I am still questioning their existence. Since there is no definite proof in my experience either for or against the existence of great dates I prefer not to either believe or disbelieve in their existence. One might call this the agnosticism of great dates. I digress. In my experience there is such a thing are horrifying dates. These are not the occasions with silences longer than one minute or more than half of the conversation being carried on in mono syllables. There are the occasions which have the capacity to cause goose bumps years after the sad demise of the budding relationship. Because, unfortunately, all the long pauses and mono syllables were avoided, and, too much was said that should not have been spoken.

After a reasonable background on my beliefs and ideas I would proceed to pen down the occurrences of this weekend. I went on a date. Someone I met over the net. Someone who was insane enough to go out with me, and hence, in all probability, insane. For the sake of your future happiness and to shield you from painful experiences I will only narrate the highlights of the event. I knew there was something seriously wrong because of the complete, absolute and all encompassing avoidance of eye contact. And, as if that was not enough of a hint, I was told that “If you go veg with your diet, you might loose weight.” Imagine my shock. Here I was, under the beautifully false impression that I am lovingly chubby, when I am jarred to reality with the knowledge that I am fat; and ugly. Shock, shock, shock.

To top all this off, when I go about lamenting the general suckiness of my life to my friends, one of them tells me that I am a “Whiny Irritating Brat.”

For me, friendship, as well as dating, means a long series of ego shattering experiences on a colossal scale.

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