Convergence and Angelina Jolie

* This post may include references and spoilers for the movie “Salt”. Please proceed only if you have seen the movie, or intend not to.

Fortunate men get to acquire knowledge. Even more fortunate are men who get to apply knowledge. But the most fortunate of men get the opportunity to see different branches of knowledge converge to form new branches of knowledge: they get to create knowledge.

An example of this would be the sudden link and understanding of the truly single nature of the mating habits of the American bull frog and Napoleon’s military strategy of attacking with the right flank first: they are indeed exactly the same thing hence linking amphibian zoology with military strategy. This discovery of new knowledge has made Ahmed Ijaz a most fortunate man.

Today, I have had the opportunity to be this most fortunate man.

I was a fortunate man during my school days when I chanced upon the knowledge of Mansur ibn e Hallaj during a virulent debate with an atheist. After the discussion I took it upon myself to discover and then rediscover the true story. Mansur’s mystic wanderings led him to utter the words “Ana l Haqq”, which means “I am the truth,” in his philosophy this meant that Mansur had learnt the true nature of the absolute, infinite and omnipresent God. For the rest of the world it meant that Mansur had declared himself God. Mansur was crucified in 922 AD.

I was a fortunate man earlier in the evening today when I chanced upon the knowledge that in the movie “Salt” Angelina Jolie is an incredibly beautiful woman. And I also learnt that a woman who can beat the crap out of men by using a gun, another weapon, or just plain fists is bound to be incredibly attractive and desirable. In addition to that I learnt that spies are taught to fly down elevator shafts and drop from aircraft and navigate new buildings with absolute ease. This means that the said spy, who is the best of the best, is infinitely more powerful than man, infinitely more mobile than man, infinitely more unkillable (if Bush can make up words than so can I) than man. This would mean that this spy is, in a way, superhuman. And since that possibility doesn’t exist, this spy actually has divine qualities. One might even go so far as to say, that this spy is God. In the movie at any rate.

Enter the fortunatestness (again, Bush) view on the story, if Salt is God in a movie, and Mansur ibn e Hallaj says that he is the truth, then, there is only one conclusion. Mansur ibn e Hallaj is a Russain Spy. Can you see it? Can you? Can you imagine that right now the barriers of knowledge in your mind are breaking down upon themselves and a new world of knowledge and information is opening up in front of you? Is this not an amazing experience?

By my earlier descriptions, you are fortunate right now because you are acquiring this new knowledge that I have created. Think of when you will apply it and become even more fortunate. And think of when you will create new knowledge and reach the highest level of fortunatelization (need I say it, Bush).

Although, I think the Great Vowel Shift might actually be linked to this. Food for thought?

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2 Responses to Convergence and Angelina Jolie

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