Ignominious entry

As some of you know, I have recently undertaken a mindnumblingly shocking act of utter imbecility. In short, leaving my job cold turkey and shifting to Dubai and looking for greener pastures. The reason would be that my wife lives and works in Dubai so there is some reason behind thigs act of apparent madness. My trip to Dubai started 48 hours ago.

To say that the transition has gone well, would be to lie thorugh my teeth. The barrage of losses, injuries and insults started the minute I left for Karachi airport. To start off with there was a lot of political and communal violence in Karachi during my drive to the airport and I had to confirm with my family that they have indeed managed to reach home safely.

I always sit on the wtindow seat. I am an extremely nervous and jittery flyer, the situation has gotten a lot worst over time. I requested for a window seat, I got it. To my great joy and excitement the flight was an hour late. And as can only be expected, someone else was in my seat. When I asked him to move because “I think that is my seat”, he asked me “What is your seat number”, uhhhh dumbo, there are just two seats, so if you are obviously seat B, then I would be seat A. But, against my own better judgment, I decided to be friendly and civil, I informed him that my seat was A. To this he replied that “How do you that one isnt A”, because idiot, A comes after B so they would not have B with the window and A in the aisle. At first I could not even imagine how to reply to this. You see unfortunately in my brain, I think that telling someone an incredibly obvious thing would be considered insulting. Long story short, I just said, ok, and I sat in the aisle. Hating the abject level of ill breeding and jahalat about one foot from my left elbow.

Once at the Dubai airport the abject level of ill breeding and jahalt started jumping up and down so I had to get out of my seat to give him breathing space. And then, once I had landed, and since minor infraction are just not oh-so-disconcerting, on of my pieces of luggage got lost. Oh Joy. So another hour of desperately hoping that the next piece is mine.

Once home I decided that the comedy of errors should have come to an end. But it didnt.

My wife left for work early, the other key of the house could not be found anywhere. So I was imprisoned in my flat for about one whole day. Wonderful. Of course, I thought that the final injury was when my wife flogged me because the food that I had cooked probably had one extra dash of salt and the water was at 12 degrees rather than the instructed 10 degrees. Of course it was my fault.

Today’s foggy morning came with the promise of a new beginning, one where I will be my own man, one where I will be able to live a life of dignity and respect that is the right of all men and citizens of the world. But alas, somehow the cellphone service has been able to bill me 160 dirhams during the day when I havent really used the phone that much.

What is in store for me tomorrow. Shudder, shudder, shudder. I have to go now. My wife is nearly home and I havent been able to find any fresh dinosaur eggs for her requested dish of the day: Dinosaur Omelette with Maritan Spices and a Solar Flare.

PS – For the sake of truth, I must say that the comments pertaining to my wife may even be a tad bit exaggerated.

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